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Jill Jacinto

Jill Jacinto

December 22, 2014

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Don’t Be a Martyr

We’ve all known her. She’s the last one in the office at night (every night). She’s the one emailing us all her epiphanies at 3am. She’s the one who won’t stop mentioning that she has no life outside of work (as if it’s a badge of honor). Yes, the office Martyr is easy to spot… except when she’s YOU.

Chances are you’ve been there, but it can be hard to self-identify, unless you know what to look out for. Here are 5 common “Martyr-isms”. If you find yourself relating to more than a few of these, it’s a sure sign that you’ve become “that” girl.

Doesn’t Anyone Else Work Around Here?
Sure, we’ve all had days (or weeks) where we really did pull more than our own weight at work. But if you find yourself seething, convinced that no one works as hard as you do, or you’re sure everything would fall apart if you ever called in sick – then it’s time for a reality check. Truth is, other people ARE working just as hard as you are, and the world will not stop spinning if you take a step back occasionally to re-energize.

If I Don’t Complain No One Will Know How Much I’m Doing!
Have your formerly friendly coworkers stopped asking you how your day is going? Do you find it next to impossible to make conversation without spewing negativity? Besides the fact that it depresses the hell out of everyone, complaining about your workload gives the impression that you’re in over your head – which is the kiss of death for someone seeking recognition.

No One Understands Me Anyway – So Why Bother?
Have you become so depleted and resentful that you’ve simply stopped talking? Have you stopped sharing your struggles, yet you wonder why no one notices your need for support and understanding? You might not even realize that you’ve withdrawn socially – but if you are acting like a recluse, you could be selling yourself short at work. There’s a difference between complaining and actually sharing your concerns and struggles from the perspective of, “I need help.” As long as it’s equal opportunity, most of your coworkers will be happy to commiserate and help you troubleshoot.

Did You Say Something?
Your best work-friend is five minutes into a juicy story when you realize that you haven’t heard a word. Sound familiar? If you are perpetually drowning in your thoughts, too preoccupied with your own struggles to listen to your boss, colleagues or friends, there’s a good chance that your self-pity is getting in the way of crucial relationships.

It Won’t Hurt If I Eat One More…
Do you feel so deprived of pleasure that you tell yourself you deserve that eighth piece of chocolate? Or you can’t remember the last time you went to the gym because hey – you’re working hard enough already? Using work as an excuse to stop taking care of yourself is a trap that’s easy to fall into and harder to climb out of. Nipping it in the bud when you catch yourself rationalizing will help you avoid doing damage that could take months to undo.